Question:
My boyfriend says I spoil my dog and that she will not learn to respect him when she growls at him. This happens especially when she's on the sofa with us. I say she's just jealous and scolding her to get off the couch will make things worse. Help! My boyfriend is almost at the point of saying it's either me or the dog.
V.S., St. Louis, Mo Sep 20, 2011
Answer:
You are not the only single person with a jealous-dog dilemma. Dogs (cats, too) will often demand the undivided attention of their guardians when they see a visitor, male or female, as a potential rival for attention.
Reassurance, rather than discipline, is called for, along with the understanding by your boyfriend that this is a natural reaction and not a sign of disrespect or an indication that you care more for your dog than for him when you don't shoo the dog away. Possibly you have overindulged your dog and she knows no boundaries, in which case you must step in and teach her that growling is unacceptable and that she is not allowed on the sofa when she growls.
Remember, banishing a dog is, for a pack animal, the severest of reprimands. Dogs growl for different reasons that you must determine: Is your dog growling for attention? If so, then simply ignore her and then pet her when she's quiet. If it is a threatening or warning growl, there could be something in your boyfriend's behavior or body language that you don't see but the dog either perceives or misperceives as threatening or intimidating. Dogs can be remarkable judges of human character.
Encourage your boyfriend to walk the dog on a leash with you and also alone. Have him learn (if he does not already know) how to play with her and groom her.
Young children whose parents are divorced also act out when a parent brings a date home to meet them. Forbearance, love and understanding are called for where there is insecurity for man and beast alike.
Send all mail to Dr. Michael Fox in care of Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106. The volume of mail received prohibits personal replies, but questions and comments of general interest will be discussed in future columns.
Subscribe