Question:
In response to the letter about the cat that didn't want to be held, here is a process that has worked for me with several cats.Pick the cat up and put it down immediately. Don't try to hold your cat at all. (I had one cat that was so reluctant to be held that I could do this only by getting down on my knees and lifting her off the floor for just an instant.) Pet and praise the cat after setting it down. Repeat this process until the cat doesn't get upset. (With one cat, I did just that much several times a day for a couple of months before it no longer hissed at me.) When the cat has learned to accept being picked up, hold it for a few seconds only, putting the cat down the instant it shows any discomfort or starts to struggle. As the cat learns to trust that you will release it when it wants to get down, the cat will allow you to hold it for longer periods of time.The problem most people have is that they attempt to restrain cats that don't want to be held, never allowing trust to be built up between the cats.
P.O., Brooklyn Park, MN Feb 19, 2006
Answer:
Unfortunately, most people lack your patience. Feeling rejected, they quickly give up trying to get their shy cats to accept and eventually enjoy being held. Seeing other cats being picked up and cuddled can make a big difference for touch-shy cats that learn through observation.Both kittens and puppies that try to escape when held will quickly learn to submit and develop self-control when held firmly until they relax. Protective gloves and sleeves are advisable. Gently pinching the kitten's skin at the back of the neck while holding the kitten mimics how a mother cat holds and carries a kitten. This hold usually triggers a mild state of catatonia. (No pun intended.) Once the kitten submits and relaxes, stroke and praise it, then put it down and let go. This might seem cruel, but it is a humane way to condition hyperactive and poorly socialized young animals. I call this process "gentling," and it is remarkable how well it works and makes the animals more trusting and easier to handle later in life.
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